You Keep the Kale, I'm Trying the New "Ice Cream Cleanse"

A California creamery claims that raw, saturated fat is a "miracle worker" for the human body -- it's also their ice cream's main ingredient

I am an ardent fan of the juice cleanse. I've tried many of the commercial ones (with Blue Print being my favorite) and always enjoy the results -- if not the first 12 hours.

The leaning out, the de-puffing, the clear(ing) complexion -- all aces in my book. And, I absolutely love the no-brainer convenience of reaching for a bottle and not having to plan a meal. Factor in that I genuinely like the way most of them taste (that nasty macadamia milk notwithstanding) and, if they weren't so gosh darn expensive I'd be happy to juice cleanse my way through life.

In fact, I've been contemplating placing order for a 5-day "Excavation Cleanse" -- spring break is just around the corner -- but this morning, something came across my Feedly feed that may have (permanently) altered that plan.

The headline alerted me to the fact that Kippy's, an organic, non-dairy ice cream shop in, where else?, Venice, Calif. is promoting the first-ever "Ice Cream Cleanse." Had it been April 1st, I probably wouldn't even have bothered to click through but, as it turns out, this is on the up and up.

The shop, which scoops Truly. Raw. Gourmet. ice creams and sorbets which are "100% Real Food" ("We use ingredients that are as close as possible to the way nature made them. We never add fillers, emulsifiers, or preservatives (like guar gum or xanthan gum) or anything that is not 100% Real Food."), offers a $240, 4-day cleanse that has you eating 5 pints of ice each day. For reals.

In a very convincing couple of paragraphs, Kippy's explains (and justifies) the cleanse, hammering home the point that "raw saturated fat helps us digest, repairs the gut, feeds the brain, boosts metabolism," and is pretty much the holy grail for all that ails you. Oh, in addition to all the internal benefits, as a result of living on ice cream for the better part of a week, you'll also lose weight and feel great so, what's not to like?

Call me a skeptic but, even after reading the rationale, I wasn't too sure I bought the concept, I mean, talk about sounding too good to be true. So, I did a little Googling and found a story on Fitmodo by a guy, Brent, who'd taken the cleanse for a spin.

Despite having determined that a pint of Kippy's Truly Raw Coconut contains 820 percent (!) of one's RDA for saturated fat, Brent was an eager participant and dug into his pints with gusto. Aside from a couple of urgent bathroom visits, intermittent lulls in energy and some wacky dreams, the four days passed without much drama and he ended up losing nearly 6 pounds. (Which, in typical post-cleanse fashion, had returned within a week or so.)

"[I] generally felt pretty good for most of it," he writes. "At no point did [I] ever feel truly hungry. Even cravings were very manageable, which was pretty shocking."

So, I was left to digest what I'd learned and ponder… A bottle of blended spinach, beets, ginger and apple or a pint of dark chocolate Himalayan Fire Salt ice cream? Seems like a no-brainer, right?

For most normal people, sure, but, truth be told, I don't even like ice cream all that much. However, in the name of science (?) and because it's my journalistic duty to get to the bottom of these types of critical beauty mysteries, I'd be willing to give an ice cream cleanse a shot.

How about you?

"Fit Beer" -- Just What Your Trainer Ordered (?)

A new Canadian brew is looking to hone in on the sports drink market

For years, Draft Magazine, a digest devoted entirely to the art of beer, has had a "Beer Runner" column that's written for the person who's "equally devoted to fine beer appreciation and an active, healthy lifestyle."

I was unaware of this because, if I'm being honest, beer's not my thang and even if it was, I'm pretty sure I wouldn't equate it with clean living.

But, according to something I heard (and then read) on NPR, I could be wrong about the latter. Evidently, beer, in all of its malt and hops glory, is now being touted as a "post workout recovery drink."

(Sometimes you come to work and write about the strangest things.)

Seems that somewhere up in the Great White North, a Canadian brewery has dreamed up a "low alcohol, protein-packed 'fit beer'." Good idea, eh?

Packed with electrolytes, antioxidants and nutrients, Lean Machine "recovery ale," which is being touted as a nutritious alternative to the typical high proof Canadian brews, is the brainchild of a team of scientists at Kelowna, B.C.'s Vampt brewery.

"We just thought that maybe we could do something that would support a drinker, make it still socially fun, and help them accomplish what needs to be accomplished after an aggressive workout," explains Vampt's founder, Ian Toews.

(And, I thought that's what putting vodka in your Gatorade was for. Kidding.)

Ludicrous as this all sounds, NPR talked to a sports nutritionist in Australia who agreed that, if it's formulated properly, a beer could replace some of the electrolytes, carbs and proteins we burn off while exercising. (Anyone envision this Aussie guy as a hottie with a big, blue can of Foster's in his hand?)

Before his brewery embarks on a full scale marketing push, Toews is having Lean Machine heavily tested throughout Canada because, as he says, "Canadians know what a good beer is."

The Looming Guac-pocalypse, Anna Wintour Sits Second Row(!) and More ...

All the "hey did you hear?" beauty and fashion news you need to know this morning... • Still think Global Warming is a figment of Al Gore's imagination? Chipotle says that climate change will most likely increase prices on several produce items -- including avocados -- and may force them to stop offering guacamole and some specialized salsas. The chain, which uses, 97,000 pounds of the California-grown fruit every single day and scientists say that rising temps in that state may reduce production by 40 percent in our lifetime. [ThinkProgress

• Sick of slouching over your computer? A French design company may be able to help. The Up T-Shirt "incorporates elastic fabric across the shoulders in such a way that good posture is rewarded by greater comfort" and, they're not half bad looking. Beats walking around the office with a book on your head. [The Week

• For those for whom a run of the mill cotton ball simply won't do, there's a new wave of "luxury cotton pads" popping up on the vanities of the, well, I suppose, ridiculously rich(?). Available from chi-chi brands like Clé de Peau, Chanel and Shiseido for about $20 a pack, the pure cotton pads are marketed as being ridiculously supple, soft and absorbent. And, one pad does the work of as many as 3 to 4 pedestrian cotton balls. #firstworldproblems [Byrdie

•Anna Wintour must've passed that Management: 101 class with flying colors. Vogue's editrix did the nearly unthinkable yesterday by swapping seats with an underling at Valentino's Paris couture show. Jaws were agape when they spotted Wintour in the second row (tantamount to Podunk in couture show geography) but, she was slumming for a good reason; the girl sitting in her front row/center seat is reporting on the collection for, you guessed it, Vogue, and needed a better look. [ The Daily Beast

• Speaking of PFW, makeup artist supreme, Pat McGrath pulled another awe-inspiring look out of her bag o' tricks yesterday at the Alexander McQueen show -- Owl Eyes. “It’s futurism mixed with nature,” McGrath explained. “We decided to do the owl world in a punk eye makeup way.” Spiny black feathers were cut and meticulously glued onto models brows and lashes in a process that took four hours. “When would I ever make it easy?” she deadpanned. [Style.com]

• And, now that we're speaking of feathers … Just when you think you couldn't get any more grossed out by what goes into some beauty products comes this little nugget: chicken feathers will soon be used to plump up your sagging face and help lend shine and bounce to hair. "The feather fiber grinds to a powdery talc making the keratin useful," says the USDA researcher who invented a machine that separates the fiber from the quill of the feather. Each chicken has roughly 10,000 feathers, we consume 8 billion of them each year. I'm no math genius but that leaves us with a lot of feathers lying around looking to be useful. In addition to helping out with beauty items, "The list of things that the [feather derived] keratin-rich material has been used to make is vast: dishes and furniture, clothing, circuit boards, wall insulation, filters, planting pots, shoe soles and hurricane-proof roofing." [Modern Farmer]

READ: 13 Gross Ingredients Hidden in Your Beauty Products

• In celebrity news today, Jessica Alba (she who recently gave Dr. Oz the facial of his life) has been tapped by Braun as the spokesperson for its electronic beauty devices because, "[As] a strong, passionate woman and advocate for others is the perfect ambassador to talk about the role beauty and our products play in helping women feel their best."

Also, after 5 years Katie Holmes and her pal Jeanne Yang have shuttered their cleverly titled Holmes & Yang fashion label. "We would like to express our thanks and appreciation to everyone who contributed to helping the line including our customers, contractors, vendors and the press for their support," the duo said in a statement.

And, finally, in case you didn't get enough of Matthew McConaughey this award season, the newly minted Oscar winner has announced that he's releasing a line of t-shirts emblazoned with his "Alright, Alright, Alright" catchphrase which, in case you're not a card-carrying McConaughfile, was also the first line he ever spoke on film (in "Dazed and Confused). The shirts will be part of his "Just Keep Livin'" collection that's sold exclusively at Dillards. No word as yet on when the tees will hit shelves.

Whiten My Teeth at the Mall? You're Joking, Right?

When I was 9, I auditioned for a role in my summer camp's production of "Winnie the Pooh." I couldn't wait for the Head Counselor to post the casting results on the mess hall wall. Would I be playing Christopher Robbin? (It was an all-girl camp.) Or maybe even, dare I hope, Pooh himself? 

What seemed like days later, the list was finally tacked up and while my name did appear, turned out I wasn't to play either of those lead characters. Instead I was cast as the sun. The freakingSUN. What? 

When I mustered the guts to ask why they'd thought I was suited to the part, they told me it was because my smile could light up a room -- just like the sun lights up the world. Gimme a break. 

I mean, sure it's true, I was blessed with nice teeth. They've always been super-white and I never needed braces (though I thought retainers were so cool that I wore a bent paper clip in my mouth throughout most of the fourth grade). But, because of them I was relegated to playing the sun? Clearly I've never gotten over it. 

Now umpteen years later I find myself longing to be cast in that part again -- minus the giant yellow orb costume. Why? After seeing pictures of myself over the past several months, I've realized that my once pearly whites are significantly less so. Don't know why. I don't drink red wine or coffee or even soda (I've been Diet Coke free for three years and two days -- but who's counting?). So, what gives? 

I asked my dentist and he said it was just normal "wear and tear" on my teeth, and would I like to have them whitened? Um. Sure. And, I'd also like a Malibu beach house, but as a single mother of two who gets zero child support I'm not about to indulge on such a thing. 

Hmm. Other options? Well, I could head to the mall and lie there with a blue light emanating from my mouth as Cinnabon-clutching teens snicker? I'd rather have dingy teeth, thanks. 

But if the mall's too unappealing and the pro whitening's too expensive, what's left? Do those drugstore whiteners really work? 

Yes. According to Dr. Michael Apa, a partner in the Rosenthal/Apa Group on Manhattan's Upper East Side where he works exclusively on aesthetic and restorative dentistry. He suggests that his patients use a whitening toothpaste daily and also recommends using Crest Weekly Clean Intensive Cleaning Paste, $14.99, saying that "[It] is a good product that has heavy silica ingredients to brush stains away." 

Well, OK then, I'm willing to try anything once. Will let you know how it goes -- and also if I get mistaken for the sun again anytime soon. 

Do you whiten your teeth? What do you use?

I'm a Snob

I came to a semi-alarming realization this week: I think I may very well be a snob. 

It's not that I don't deign to do certain things or deem certain situations, places, and people as beneath me. It more has to do with what I will and will not wear. Shallow? Absolutely. Non-negotiable? Pretty much. 

Let me back track a bit. One of my co-workers was writing a very clever story on the 11 Celebrity Fragrances Our Editors Are Embarrassed to Love. And, it got me to thinking. I don't care HOW much I love a J. Lo or a Jennifer Aniston or a (perish the thought) Britney Spears scent -- there is NO WAY I would ever, ever, wear it. "Embarrassed" is one thing. Categorically shunning something based on something so shallow is another. 

So, in an effort to try to rid myself of this despicable shortcoming, I tried to picture myself in CVS picking up the (no doubt tacky) box and heading on over to the register. But I couldn't even visualize such a thing. WHY? The cashier wouldn't care (after all, she sells enemas and personal lubricants and nose hair clippers all day). No one would have to "know" and I'd smell good, right? I guess. But, still, try as I might, this mental scenario was a no go. 

This saddens me. Am I so wrapped up in what people think that I'd deny myself an affordable, good-smelling scent just because I think it's cheesy? The answer is a resounding yes. 

How do I cure myself? (Short of some sort of intervention where my friends and family arrive armed with boxes of Kate Walsh and Halle Berry and (aaaaack!) Paris Hilton/Jessica Simpson perfume?) I know that not everyone feels this way -- after all, these starlets rake in mega bucks with these olfactory endeavors. So there has to be a way to just get over my lame self and spritz along with the hoi polloi. 

I've got this. Give me a month and you'll have a whole new (super-smelling) evolved blogger on your hands. 

Do You Want Great Skin Badly Enough to Hop On the Colonic Train?

Proponents of intestinal cleansing claim that clear, glowing skin is but one of the ancillary benefits

In our never-ending quest for perfect, dewy, youthful (insert your own adjective here) skin, a must-try treatment du jour pops up, if not literally every jour, with staggering regularity.

From new, groundbreaking technologies to rare ingredients farmed from high atop the Himalayas, skin care is a constantly evolving, bazillion dollar business.

These days, we're hearing a lot about forgetting topical remedies and procedures and confronting skin issues from the inside out -- and we're not talking vitamin supplements or making sure to crunch away on kale chips.

Lately, more and more women have been turning to colonics to help them achieve the ever-elusive clear skin they crave.

Just so we're all on the same page without getting too graphic (in case you're reading this over breakfast), colon cleansing is "a process employing a number of alternative medical therapies intended to remove feces and nonspecific toxins from the colon and intestinal tract."

Got it? Good. Then you're equipped to read this next quote from Tracy Piper, director of NYC's Piper Center for Internal Wellness.

"What happens in the colon is directly seen in the skin," she says. "So when I see a person with chronic acne, to me they are pooping through their skin. That may sound harsh, but it will give people a wake up call as to pay attention to what is going in inside will show on the outside. The skin is the organ that we see that tells us if we are internally fit, so pay attention as it can save you from longstanding issues later on."

"The results were astounding," a fan told Well&Good. "By removing all of the toxins from my system and replacing them with essential nutrients, my skin started to glow. It was obvious. People commented and questioned what I was using on my skin. I told them the only reason why my skin looked this way was because of the detox --because of the removal of all of the s**t (literally!) from my system."

Exciting stuff, right? Not so fast. While you can find any number of articles extolling the virtues of colonic therapies for clearing up your skin, as with any "controversial" topic, there are just as many that debunk the process, with some even claiming that it's a detrimental and risky proposition. So, as with any procedure, it's best to do your research and weigh your pros and cons before diving in. Or, flushing out.