Tuesday, March 4, 2014

Whiten My Teeth at the Mall? You're Joking, Right?

When I was 9, I auditioned for a role in my summer camp's production of "Winnie the Pooh." I couldn't wait for the Head Counselor to post the casting results on the mess hall wall. Would I be playing Christopher Robbin? (It was an all-girl camp.) Or maybe even, dare I hope, Pooh himself? 

What seemed like days later, the list was finally tacked up and while my name did appear, turned out I wasn't to play either of those lead characters. Instead I was cast as the sun. The freakingSUN. What? 

When I mustered the guts to ask why they'd thought I was suited to the part, they told me it was because my smile could light up a room -- just like the sun lights up the world. Gimme a break. 

I mean, sure it's true, I was blessed with nice teeth. They've always been super-white and I never needed braces (though I thought retainers were so cool that I wore a bent paper clip in my mouth throughout most of the fourth grade). But, because of them I was relegated to playing the sun? Clearly I've never gotten over it. 

Now umpteen years later I find myself longing to be cast in that part again -- minus the giant yellow orb costume. Why? After seeing pictures of myself over the past several months, I've realized that my once pearly whites are significantly less so. Don't know why. I don't drink red wine or coffee or even soda (I've been Diet Coke free for three years and two days -- but who's counting?). So, what gives? 

I asked my dentist and he said it was just normal "wear and tear" on my teeth, and would I like to have them whitened? Um. Sure. And, I'd also like a Malibu beach house, but as a single mother of two who gets zero child support I'm not about to indulge on such a thing. 

Hmm. Other options? Well, I could head to the mall and lie there with a blue light emanating from my mouth as Cinnabon-clutching teens snicker? I'd rather have dingy teeth, thanks. 

But if the mall's too unappealing and the pro whitening's too expensive, what's left? Do those drugstore whiteners really work? 

Yes. According to Dr. Michael Apa, a partner in the Rosenthal/Apa Group on Manhattan's Upper East Side where he works exclusively on aesthetic and restorative dentistry. He suggests that his patients use a whitening toothpaste daily and also recommends using Crest Weekly Clean Intensive Cleaning Paste, $14.99, saying that "[It] is a good product that has heavy silica ingredients to brush stains away." 

Well, OK then, I'm willing to try anything once. Will let you know how it goes -- and also if I get mistaken for the sun again anytime soon. 

Do you whiten your teeth? What do you use?

I'm a Snob

I came to a semi-alarming realization this week: I think I may very well be a snob. 

It's not that I don't deign to do certain things or deem certain situations, places, and people as beneath me. It more has to do with what I will and will not wear. Shallow? Absolutely. Non-negotiable? Pretty much. 

Let me back track a bit. One of my co-workers was writing a very clever story on the 11 Celebrity Fragrances Our Editors Are Embarrassed to Love. And, it got me to thinking. I don't care HOW much I love a J. Lo or a Jennifer Aniston or a (perish the thought) Britney Spears scent -- there is NO WAY I would ever, ever, wear it. "Embarrassed" is one thing. Categorically shunning something based on something so shallow is another. 

So, in an effort to try to rid myself of this despicable shortcoming, I tried to picture myself in CVS picking up the (no doubt tacky) box and heading on over to the register. But I couldn't even visualize such a thing. WHY? The cashier wouldn't care (after all, she sells enemas and personal lubricants and nose hair clippers all day). No one would have to "know" and I'd smell good, right? I guess. But, still, try as I might, this mental scenario was a no go. 

This saddens me. Am I so wrapped up in what people think that I'd deny myself an affordable, good-smelling scent just because I think it's cheesy? The answer is a resounding yes. 

How do I cure myself? (Short of some sort of intervention where my friends and family arrive armed with boxes of Kate Walsh and Halle Berry and (aaaaack!) Paris Hilton/Jessica Simpson perfume?) I know that not everyone feels this way -- after all, these starlets rake in mega bucks with these olfactory endeavors. So there has to be a way to just get over my lame self and spritz along with the hoi polloi. 

I've got this. Give me a month and you'll have a whole new (super-smelling) evolved blogger on your hands. 

Monday, March 3, 2014

Do You Want Great Skin Badly Enough to Hop On the Colonic Train?

Proponents of intestinal cleansing claim that clear, glowing skin is but one of the ancillary benefits

In our never-ending quest for perfect, dewy, youthful (insert your own adjective here) skin, a must-try treatment du jour pops up, if not literally every jour, with staggering regularity.

From new, groundbreaking technologies to rare ingredients farmed from high atop the Himalayas, skin care is a constantly evolving, bazillion dollar business.

These days, we're hearing a lot about forgetting topical remedies and procedures and confronting skin issues from the inside out -- and we're not talking vitamin supplements or making sure to crunch away on kale chips.

Lately, more and more women have been turning to colonics to help them achieve the ever-elusive clear skin they crave.

Just so we're all on the same page without getting too graphic (in case you're reading this over breakfast), colon cleansing is "a process employing a number of alternative medical therapies intended to remove feces and nonspecific toxins from the colon and intestinal tract."

Got it? Good. Then you're equipped to read this next quote from Tracy Piper, director of NYC's Piper Center for Internal Wellness.

"What happens in the colon is directly seen in the skin," she says. "So when I see a person with chronic acne, to me they are pooping through their skin. That may sound harsh, but it will give people a wake up call as to pay attention to what is going in inside will show on the outside. The skin is the organ that we see that tells us if we are internally fit, so pay attention as it can save you from longstanding issues later on."

"The results were astounding," a fan told Well&Good. "By removing all of the toxins from my system and replacing them with essential nutrients, my skin started to glow. It was obvious. People commented and questioned what I was using on my skin. I told them the only reason why my skin looked this way was because of the detox --because of the removal of all of the s**t (literally!) from my system."

Exciting stuff, right? Not so fast. While you can find any number of articles extolling the virtues of colonic therapies for clearing up your skin, as with any "controversial" topic, there are just as many that debunk the process, with some even claiming that it's a detrimental and risky proposition. So, as with any procedure, it's best to do your research and weigh your pros and cons before diving in. Or, flushing out.

Thursday, September 19, 2013

Who's Down for a Leopard Print Bikini Wax?

A London salon is offering up some outrageous options in the "down there" department From Alex Brownsell, the proprietor of London's trendy "Bleach" salon -- and the stylist who brought us candy-colored dipped ends -- comes the latest craze in hair care … the "downstairs dye."

According to New York magazine, the inspiration for the avant-garde service was Betty Beauty, "an at-home coloring treatment for your bikini area (to cover grays)," which she and her team decided to take one-step further.

"It's a bit like Marmite," Brownsell told the magazine about the dye job's love it or leave it appeal. "We put it on the menu for a bit of fun but it's getting to be quite popular, especially because of the summer. I've had it done, a few of our stylists have had it done, loads of my friends have been in and had it done. We've got people coming in just for a wax that are seeing it, thinking about it, and then coming in the next time asking for it. Every one of my friends who has had it done has come in for a second go."

The heart-shape is very popular, as are the leopard print landing strip and tie-dye pattern. All this, thanks to the salon's "over-qualified waxer," Chelsea.

Brownsell explains; "First you pick the shape you want — a triangle, strip, heart — anything like that. Then Chelsea will paint the area in the shape, you don’t actually dye all of it. It is then bleached, left on for ten to fifteen minutes, then wiped off and a secondary color is applied. This is a stain and only takes two minutes. Then Chelsea takes that off and does the waxing procedure as normal. It's really quick."

And, soon, you may not have to wing on over to London to have the procedure done. Brownsell is planning to open a salon in New York by year's end. Although, she's not sure she'll have this specific service on the menu. "I think we’ll just do hair, unless there's a demand for the downstairs dye. I don't think I could do it though. I'd have to take Chelsea."

Would you be up for a "downstairs dye" or do you prefer to keep your bikini area more mainstream?

Do NOT Follow These Celebrity Beauty Tips

Surprise! Being an actress doesn't make you a beauty expert in the slightest

In our celebrity-obsessed culture, we put stars on pedestals and think they can do no wrong. GOOP-y Gwynneth becomes a self-professed expert on everything from diet and health to outrageously expensive tee-shirts, Snooki offers up weight loss tips and we're always reading about what makeup products celebs (no matter how D-list) keep in their handbags.

Guess what? Being famous for acting, singing or being drunk doesn't make you an expert on anything but acting, singing or, well, you get the drift.

That's what makes this compendium of actress-proffered beauty tips so amusing. Styleist compiled a bunch of celebrity beauty blunders that make for a good chuckle.

For instance, both the aforementioned GOOP and model Giselle Bundchen don't think there's anything wrong with spending unprotected time in the sun. About SPF, the model famously said, "I cannot put this poison on my skin. I do not use anything synthetic."

Snooki's little gem is a doozy. In her best-selling (how is that possible) book, "Confessions of a Guidette," the diminutive new mom revealed that she's used kitty litter as an exfoliant. Why she'd choose that over, say, salt or baking soda if she didn't have an actual exfoliant handy is mind-boggling.

Sandra Bullock, like many of us, buys into the "Preparation H" for reducing undereye swelling, but there's been zero scientific proof that this hemorrhoid cream really works for anything other than what it's intended for.

And, perhaps the biggest gaffe of them all comes to us courtesy of Taylor Swift who admits to the following; “I once used a Sharpie as eyeliner in an airplane bathroom because I didn’t have any with me.” Not too swift of an idea.

So, remember, celebrities might be pretty to look at on screen or stage or magazine cover but that does not make them bastions of what's good and true in the beauty (or any other) realm.

Are Vitamins and Supplements Bad For You?

A noted physician has waged war on the vitamin industry

"If you take large quantities of vitamin A, vitamin E, beta carotene [or] selenium, you increase your risk of cancer, risk of heart disease, and you could shorten your life," Dr. Paul Offit, a researcher at The Children's Hospital of Philadelphia says. And, he means business.

Offit, who's best known to us non-scientist types as the doctor who's been defending vaccines from naysayer activists like Jenny McCarthy (who believes there's a link between them and autism), has written a new book called, "Do You Believe in Magic? The Sense and Nonsense of Alternative Medicine" and he's determined to make people stand up and take notice of his findings.

At issue is how much we all seek a magic bullet to keep us healthy. This excerpt from an interview he gave The Guardian offers insight into his rationale as to why we don't need to take vitamins.

"You need vitamins to convert food into energy. The question is how best to get them. Most people who eat a reasonable diet will get everything they need in the food that they eat. But there are some people who have special diets – for example vegans or those who live in climates where it's never sunny – who would benefit from supplemental vitamins. But, for the most part, we get what we need in foods.

Other people think: “Because I'm not sure I'm getting all my vitamins, let me just take a multivitamin every day” – which is OK. Multivitamins contain at or about the recommended dose of vitamins for that day. But then there are some people who believe that more is better – that by taking large quantities of daily vitamins they will do even better, live even longer and decrease the risk of cancer or heart disease. But in fact, many studies have shown that the exact opposite is true – that if you choose to take these large quantities of excess vitamins, then you increase risk of cancer and heart disease and shorten your life."


Offit maintains that we all think that vitamins can't possibly be bad for us when they're supposed to be fundamentally healthy. We, according to the doctor, are wrong.

"Look at the root of the word: 'Vita' means life. I think people can't imagine you could ever get too much of a good thing. But the second thing is that this industry is very good at projecting the idea that this product lives under an untouchable halo. It’s a matter of perception. If you go into a General Nutrition Center, you can get a preparation, which contains 3,333% of the recommended daily allowance of Vitamin E. In fact, that's a typical Vitamin E preparation that's available. If you open up the bottle and take out one capsule, you'll find that it's smaller than an almond. And, in fact, almonds are a good source of Vitamin E. One almond has about 2% of the recommended daily allowance. But to get to 33 times the daily-recommended allowance, you would need to eat about 1,700 almonds – or about 17 pounds of almonds.

And when you do things like this, when you take 33 times the recommended daily allowance of Vitamin E, you are messing around with Mother Nature. I think if people saw that one capsule as 1,700 almonds, they would be hesitant to take it. But they don't see it that way."


Of course, as with any such hot button issue, this book -- and the press he's been doing to support it -- has many supporters and detractors. We are programmed to believe what we hear on the news, read in magazines and to follow our physicians' recommendations, so many of us simply do as we're told without questioning it. Then, we hear something utterly contrary to what we've bought as gospel and it sends us for a loop.

What do you think of Dr. Offit's premise? Do you take vitamins and supplements? Will you continue to do so without giving it any further thought or has this argument created some doubt?

Men vs. Women: Who Takes Longer to Get Ready in The Morning?

The results of a new poll may surprise you -- and provide you with some much-needed ammo It's a stereotype as old as "Father Knows Best;" Women take forever to get ready. Right? You've seen the scenario countless times …

[Interior hallway; early evening]

Jim: "Hi Mr. Smith, is Jill ready for the dance?"

Mr. Smith: "Why, no son, (chuckle, wink) she's still upstairs putting on her face, why don't we go into the den and stare awkwardly at each other until she manages to extricate herself from her vanity table."

[Cue: laugh track]

Yuk, yuk, YUCK.

The good thing about stereotypes -- the great thing actually -- is when they're proven to be nothing but, well, stereotypes, myopic, one-sided, errant views of something. And, for today's purposes, we'd like nothing more than to shatter the one that we tender-sweet young things take an inordinate amount of time getting "ready."

According to a joint study conducted by The Huffington Post and YouGov, designed to find out once and for all which sex takes longer prepping to leave the house, it turns out that both men and women primp for exactly the same amount of time. (That sound you hear is me gloating in my curlers.)

READ: New Study Says You'd Rather Look Cute for Your Girlfriends Than Your Guy

1,000 American adults were polled to see how long they preen before leaving for the day and "both 52 percent of men and 52 percent of women said it took them 10-30 minutes." The disparity only widened when it came to grooming for a night out which saw the numbers shift slightly. (58 percent of men and 42 percent of women take 10-30 minutes to prep, while 42 percent of women took more than half an hour -- but, hey, you try doing a decent smoky eye and flat ironing your hair in the time in takes to apply some nasty-smelling Axe.)

So, next time some (your?) dude gives you grief about having to wait for you to alight from your boudoir at long last, I'd like you to shoot him this link or, at the very least, point out that his nose hairs could use some trimming.

READ: 12 Hair and Makeup Looks Men Hate